Sunday, August 29, 2010

I really am going to learn how to post pictures soon. Blogs are SO boring without pictures, I just realized. So soon, my next post possibly, I will post pictures. Things are WONDERFUL in Hawaii, just as I hoped and dreamed of. I really cannot believe that I live in this place. I think if I could live here for the rest of my life I would be wonderfully content. I love the weather, the people, the ocean, the laidbackness, yes i made up that word. I love the food, but they need to add more vegetables. I love our church, our sweet little country church, but not country as in the South country, its totally different here. I love our new dog. I love my baby more and more everyday. And, of course, I'm living the dream with the man of my dreams! Just a quick update, ill post pics soon!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

WE ARE MOVING. Its a sad process, and SO exciting at the same time. Sad mostly because I'm a horrible packer. When I moved out of my college apartment, I literally used big huge black trash bags and stuffed everything i could inside. When my dad came to get me, he was NOT happy. To this i responded, "I'm the one who has to deal with it, not you." And i did. This time around, I'm pretty sure jason would be like my dad and would be angry if i tried to pack anything in a trash bag. So, I'm on a quest that might change my life. Pack everything in boxes. Label them, write what is in the box on them, and jason will pack them neatly into our little box to be shipped over the sea.
Another sad thing is that we will be leaving friends that we have made in our time here. Aubrey has made friends that she will be sad to leave also. People at seminary have taught me alot. I have learned more lessons in my time here than anywhere i have been thus far. But, one thing i have learned in this process is just alot about people. I have been loved, made special, hurt, saddened, grieved, and happy from many different people i have encountered in my time here. I believe that the Lord has opened my eyes alot in regards to loving people as they are. I have learned to be accepting in a whole new capacity.
Usually, my life consists of moving from one place to the next and in doing so, i have made so many life long friends. Interestingly though, the one place i thought i would make the most friends, i have made the least. Its mostly my own fault, and its kind of sad, but i can say that i have made friends that are so sweet and extremely caring.
So, cheers to new beginnings, drinking out of pineapples on the beach, and laying out in the sun all day long for many years to come!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fear

A few weeks ago, Jason, Aubrey, and I went to Hawaii. On our way there, we hit some CRAZZYYYY turbulence. I must say my worst fear is to crash in the ocean and die and be eaten by whatever animals exist in there. So, of course, I started to cry in the midst of the turbulence. I really thought i was going to die, and Jason said it was the worst turbulence he has ever felt also. It went on for 2 hours of our 5 hour flight. So, naturally, when it was time to come back to San Francisco, I panicked. I mean I seriously panicked. All i could think was that we were going to die on the way home. So, in the midst, I prayed that God would help me because I was about to hyperventilate. I heard God say quietly, "Emily, I am in charge of your life." Thanks God is what I thought, but I thought about it, and for whatever reason, i was calmed. And we didn't crash and die like i thought we would. Flash forward to today, I talked to a couple people, and discovered that i have high liver enzymes. They are double what they should be. So, what is my response? PANICK. I started to pray again, that God would help me, and I heard him say again, "Emily, I am in charge of your life, live freely in me." Of course, to that, i started to cry HYSTERICALLY, this time I was hyperventilating. I spent about an hour or so crying and talking with the Lord. Its amazing how the Lord works. For most, these words may mean nothing, but for me, it seemed to change my life. I could be crazy, but I think the Lord will heal this issue, and I will be fine. I know he can. I should shout these things from the rooftop about how good the Lord is, yet i don't. I don't know why. I'm not afraid of rejection or fearful, I just don't. I think its not my personality. I'm now trying to figure out a way to share what the Lord has done in my life, without being overbearing, because i know, people need to hear. May we not live in fear, but know, that the Lord is in charge of our breath, our life, and we can live freely in Him.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I used to have a favorite verse. It was Jeremiah 29:11. "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." I just wrote that off the top of my head, so it could be wrong. But, its something similar. I say "used to" because when i came to seminary, the "oh so sweet" Dr. Arbino helped me to become cynical. Anyway, Dr. Arbino tells us that we should look at the audience that God is speaking to, and be careful not to assume he is speaking directly to us in the current day. Yes, we can make application, but the intended audience was not me. WHAT???!!! I know, I did actually used to think the bible was fully speaking directly to me, and that it could answer anything I ever wanted to know. Well, here I sit, Mrs. Cynical. Recently, Jason and I have applied to become "missionaries" well, actually church planters. We were denied on ONE accusation. Drinking. Not even one drop is allowed for the last 12 months. I'm not complaining about the decision, I'm sort of sad that we judge. If I could tell you one person that I think would be the best pastor in the whole world, it would be my husband. I've always thought it. And its not just because he is my husband. Then, I look at other people around, and I think "how did that happen?" Again, my judgement. I've always said that the Lord will take care of us, and there is WAY more to this story, I'm just sad for early judgements that are made. How do you know when the Lord is speaking to you?? I KNOW i've heard him before, and I'm pretty sure i heard him this time, but maybe i am wrong. May we never be judgemental, and strive to always KNOW what the Lord wants of us. We still plan to go, just in a different form.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Birth

I have decided that for the rest of my years of life, I am going to post something. Write my thoughts, ideas, etc. Today I am 28! Its an exciting time in life, and I feel like I have been an "old woman" my whole life, just trying to make it through the years to the age I should be in my mind, which I think I am about there. Every year on my birthday, literally every year, I get lots of calls, cards, texts, but every year I always know what kind of phone call I will receive from my mom. Probably since I was 2, she calls me, tells me my WHOLE birth story, and then tells me how wonderful she thinks I am and how proud of me she is, and how lucky she is to have me. I never really cried about this, until this year. I'm thinking because all I can imagine is my own child, and the day of her birth. How precious are our days on earth. I prayed for 2 things this morning, well actually 3. The first is that Aubrey would take long naps, be really good, and its funny, because she is doing exactly that. Second, that we would hear a response SOON from NAMB. 3rd, I thanked the Lord for creating me on this day. He has allowed me to have breath for 28 years. I can't imagine how wonderfully blessed i have been to have lived this long already. I have seen, loved, laughed (my fav), cried, wept, loved again, and again, and again. I am thankful for my family, for my husband, for my baby, for my parents, my friends, and everyone else who has made a HUGE impact on my life. May I continue to live in the Lord, to breath because of Him, have life because of Him, to love only because of Him. And may I always be thankful for having another day.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Pre-existing condition

I have a pre-existing condition. The other day, well the last few weeks, I have been trying to apply for health insurance. I'm dealing here with my dad's HUGE company that has all these ins and outs and also blue cross of california. I have to get on a "special plan" and let me tell you it is special with all the money you have to pay! Anyway, it came down to the final two days, when i would be kicked off one insurance and moved on to another. That friday, at 4pm after almost everything is closed, i get a nice letter in the mail telling me that i cannot have insurance through california right now because i did not turn in the correct documents! Let me tell you, I FREAKED out. I started imagining all the money we would have to pay when i end up in the ER with no insurance. I don't frequent the ER, but for some reason random medical issues sneak up on me on the WEEKENDS. Everytime. Anyway, I began sobbing out of control. WHAT???!!! How can i be without insurance?? Flash forward 2 hours: I'm at Trader Joe's, and I'm leaving. I get in my car, turn on the radio, and what song should appear?? "How great the pain of searing was, the father turns his face away, as wounds which mar the chosen one, bring many sons to glory. I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection." To this, I began sobbing even harder. I cry over having no insurance, when I have never sobbed over souls that don't know my gracious father. To this i began sobbing even harder. Please, never let me boast of myself, for nothing I do can be done without the Lord. I take every breath because of Him. And, may i learn to sob over souls that are in desperate need of the Lord.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Oh baby girl Hew

Dear little one, I am so happy that we know you are a girl! We had a big party just for you. There were about 45 people who are dear to us, and when we found out you were a girl, everyone screamed!! I cried, and I think your dad really wanted too, although you'll see, daddy only cries once in a great while. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He does. You look just like him from the ultrasound pictures. You have his shape and his nose. I hope you look just like him when you come into this world. I think you will. My love for you is growing daily, although at first it was hard for me to be pregnant. I think you'll understand that when you are a little bit older. We love you little Aubrey Jean, and I am SOOOO glad that you are mine. I love you. Love, mom