Pre-existing condition

I have a pre-existing condition. The other day, well the last few weeks, I have been trying to apply for health insurance. I'm dealing here with my dad's HUGE company that has all these ins and outs and also blue cross of california. I have to get on a "special plan" and let me tell you it is special with all the money you have to pay! Anyway, it came down to the final two days, when i would be kicked off one insurance and moved on to another. That friday, at 4pm after almost everything is closed, i get a nice letter in the mail telling me that i cannot have insurance through california right now because i did not turn in the correct documents! Let me tell you, I FREAKED out. I started imagining all the money we would have to pay when i end up in the ER with no insurance. I don't frequent the ER, but for some reason random medical issues sneak up on me on the WEEKENDS. Everytime. Anyway, I began sobbing out of control. WHAT???!!! How can i be without insurance?? Flash forward 2 hours: I'm at Trader Joe's, and I'm leaving. I get in my car, turn on the radio, and what song should appear?? "How great the pain of searing was, the father turns his face away, as wounds which mar the chosen one, bring many sons to glory. I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection." To this, I began sobbing even harder. I cry over having no insurance, when I have never sobbed over souls that don't know my gracious father. To this i began sobbing even harder. Please, never let me boast of myself, for nothing I do can be done without the Lord. I take every breath because of Him. And, may i learn to sob over souls that are in desperate need of the Lord.